Organ thieves be damned! You'll never catch me!

We're leaving for our trip up to New England today. Normally you know I'm not allowed to mention if we're out of town because the whole M.O. of identity thieves is to find out when you'll be gone through your blog then go to your empty house and kidnap your dog and drug him and harvest his organs and leave him in a bathtub with a note about not having any kidneys left or something. Which is stupid because my dog can't even read.

But my house will NOT be unguarded this week so you Ruffie toting organ thieves can just back off. We have two people staying here to house sit and dog sit. And we have our team of construction fellas with large hammers and drills and what not here at all times of the day. So I would pretty much steer clear of the homestead unless you want to go the way of Jimmy Hoffa. We're pouring concrete. That's all I'm saying.

I was this close /--/ (that's typing code for me holding my thumb and forefinger really really close together) to canceling the trip this morning. I don't know if you're aware of this . . . but Michael Jackson has died. Shocking. You may not have seen much about it on the news. I was thinking of just staying here this weekend in case there's a small clip or something on CNN about his life and death for the next SEVENTY TWO HOURS STRAIGHT. Good lord people, save the Man in the Mirror crap for the music channels and Move. On.

Sorry. I know some of you loved that little freak. Power to the glove and peace to the family and all that.

Anyway, so I'll be on a plane with the spawnage leaving Atlanta and connecting through Cleveland of all places and then meeting Scott in Boston. Scott's on a separate flight. Because he's a lucky dog that's why. Then we drive down to Rhode Island.

It should be an easy day. I'll hypnotize Tempel with her Nintendo DS and I'll tell Parker that some kid in the back said she was cute. She'll spend the whole flight flipping her hair and looking coyly over her shoulder. This will leave me free to read a magazine. Flying with the kids is not what it used to be.

We don't speak of what it used to be.

I think the statute of limitations has run out on that anyway.

So our first stop is Rhode Island. Rhode Island. It just sounds cute. Cute and tiny and quaint and seaside-ish. I'm going to try and do mobile blog posts from my Blackberry throughout the trip. This has never ever worked for me before but I don't see why I should let that stop me.

Catch you freaks on the flip side.