Not about death. Sort of.

When my sister was 14 and I was 12 she came home from school with a story of something so grotesque that my mother and I became vegetarians for the better part of a year. It took me almost two years before I could comfortably eat chicken again. I can't remember the story - thank God. But I remember the event of it. We still talk about "that time Julie said that thing about the chicken."

So these new beef ads have reminded me of that time in my life. That non chicken eating time. Here's what I think happened. I think a vegan has infiltrated the Beef Industries marketing campaign. I think a PETA card carrying, Greenpeace volunteering, tree hugging vegan is way way under cover. I think there's a vegan pretending to market beef to people but the real mission of this person is to make people become vegetarians. Because these new beef ads? They make me want to NEVER eat beef again.

I think you can see my point here.

The thing that gets me on this first one is the gelatinous fluid at the base of the meat gorge. Why is it so slimy? Why is the meat so... wet? And was it necessary to coat the uncircumcised mushrooms and those grey lumpy small things with the viscous fluid? It looks as though my dog just threw that up.

Here's number two. I call it Big Pink Butt.

It just has too much information. I don't want to see this level of detail in the cut of beef. And for some reason the sandy looking crap at the bottom reminds me -sorry- of when Brewster gets the runs.

And my favorite - which means it is the most disgusting one - is the mountain peaks o' meat. What is up with the spewy on top of the hunk of meat? Why meat people! Why!?